I guess T.Swift sings about MY life too

But I bet T.Swift has never said any of these upcoming words. Not ever. She's too pure.

Alright, so I've had enough time today to really think about something that pissed me off. Well, kind of. You see, today was, what we in the biz like to call, a really fucking awesome weather day. It was gorgeous. And I had the day off. So...suck it. Anyway. I got bored and irritated of being inside, so I went outside to read. After picking out three, yes, three books off the bookshelf I went outside to enjoy the afternoon. And boy did I. I read one of those Post Secret books (which was utterly fascinating!), reread parts of a funny British book, and started a book series that I have been SO GOOD about avoiding. Seriously. The fucking thing is OVER. The final movie comes out TOMORROW. Yet I started it today. I was SO GOOD about it. Part of me is saddened because I love pissing people off by saying that I've never read it. Now I'm well into the second book. Damnit.

Anyway.

I got a text from a coworker in the middle of my absolutely stressful and in no way awesome and relaxing day. The first text was simply a smiley face. I sent back a question mark, sure it was a comment about how I was in the store but deliberately stayed the fuck out of the kitchen. I mean I was busy. Anyway. The response to my response was "just a smiley to brighten your day!" For some reason, this set me off. You see, yesterday I went to see Emily. Which, of course, could only mean that I would have a TERRIBLE day with my best freaking friend. Yes. Yes, that is what it means. I hate the idea that she assumed that just because of who I was with, I was going to come back and cry into my pillow. How dare she assume that I would be sad at all. The whole thing just angers me. This, after that...[insert hurtful adjectives] had the NERVE to say what she said to me. TO ME! No, I won't put it here, as it shan't be recorded for me to fester over at a later date.

But how dare she assume that she knows enough about me, about my life, about my friends, to try to "brighten my day". Never before has a harmless gesture irritated me so much. Part of the problem is just the idea of assuming that I would NEED to have my day brightened. Tuesday I got the best kind of food with the best kind of person on a great weather day. Today I sat in the perfect kind of weather with a freaking book. I guess just...who it was that text me...UGH. That's really as far as I can go with it. Like, it's the principle. I want so badly to rub in her face how GREAT my life has been the last few days. As soon as I made the sound decision (on Tuesday, admittedly) to keep her out of my personal life, I've felt so liberated. I feel as if I've gotten rid of a burden, of a person holding me back. A person who is in her 30's and is stuck acting like a 13 year old...at best. She is foul at mouth because she thinks people, the younger people, will accept her. She is embarrassing to be in bars with because she is "wild". She compulsively cheats on her totally awesome and good to her husband. She's nothing more than a drama-seeking shit starter. Ask anyone.

And, to use my favorite Owen Hart quote; Enough is enough, and it's time for a change. I'm just so sick of pretending I give a crap about how her latest boyfriend turned out to be a crazy asshole. Oh, and that's another thing. It's not her that's ever in the wrong, oh no. Everyone ELSE is the crazy fucking asshole. Yeah, no. You don't think there's a trend there? People, after months of putting up with your crazy ass, decide that they're sick of it and suddenly there is something wrong with them. What's that saying about denial? Oh yeah. It's, shut the fuck up and admit your faults you fucking passive-aggressive nutcase.

Oh. That's not it? Close enough.

I'm just sick of it. I'm sick of her pseudo-supporting me during a bad time in my life. Hey, just a hint, but sometimes telling someone you want to "hit her so she can feel pain" isn't something that I want to hear. Yeah, that happened too. Yeah, no, let's totally throw logic and proper reason out the window. I really like it when people tell me they want to hurt people that are miles, nay, galaxys more important than you could ever WISH to be. But that's another part of the problem, isn't it? Just the pure anger and jealousy of not being someone that I want to fuck. First of all, no offense, but fuck no. Second, she's MARRIED. Jesus rollerblading Christ. Do people not have ethics or morals or a fucking conscious anymore? At least if her husband was a total dick and a drunk and a burden to society I could at least accept it. But no. He's an awesome, intelligent, funny guy. Makes me sick what she does behind his back.

People often wonder why I do whatever it is I can to make her jealous and angry. Because she pisses me off and it's the best I can do. If I tell her how shitty of a worker she is, she'll go off and try to kill herself again. (Which, for the record, I still don't understand. I guess that happens when you want attention on you all the time.) If I tell her she's a great worker and a great person and my best friend, I'm lying to myself and breaking every code of honor I've ever set for myself.

Hanging out with my best friend made me realize that there are people who will stick around through thick and thin. There are people that always see through your bullshit, and you always see through theirs. They are the people that you hold onto. They are the people that, if you need to, you fight for. But usually you don't have to fight to keep them around...cos they're always going to be there. These are the people that don't judge you for anything (well...mostly anything. At least they're honest about it.) The people that don't give you some bullshit lie, they're not your "yes men". They're gentle and strong and honest and awesome. These are the people that I need more of.

Then, there are people who are whiny, self-absorbed, attention-seeking, and thrive off of making drama. These are the people who couldn't give a shit less about your life, but pretend to care because you were stupid enough to care about them. These are the people that can lure you back with tears and bullshit stories about sleepless nights. These are the people that say shit to you that they, A. have no place saying and B. know nothing about. These are the people that I need to get rid of, at all costs. Even if it means that working together will be difficult. I don't care. Everyone likes me more anyway. (I know that's childish and stupid to point out, but it's true. Ask anyone who they'd rather see working.)

This is a lot longer of a rant than I was going to post, but sometimes when you sit down to type everything just flows from your mind to your fingers, like a river of hate. No, a river of rant. That's it. We done took a ride on the River of Rant tonight.

I decided she doesn't get to know anything else about my personal life. Not if I can help it. I've learned, through trial and error, who my true friends are. Who I can trust both inside and out of work. The only problem is that if I make a big deal of it, I can kiss my promotion at work as good as gone. Maybe. I think my store leader likes me more (not sure though, depends on the day). Not that it matters, everyone knows how prone she is to throwing people under the bus. ANYTHING to make her majesty look good. Which is fine, actually. I'll let my work do my talking.

All other non-work subjects will be answered with a "great", "good", or "not bad". Because, quite honestly...it's none of her fucking business. Besides, I've got the added advantage of being able to pass a random if it came up. News flash...no one gives two flying shits if you smoke pot. Shut. Up.

The best part about me listening to T.Swift is that I have another weapon. She hates T.Swift. Thinks she's an untalented princess. Ha! Rubbish I say. I can't wait to shut her up. I shouldn't be this excited about that. Oh well.

Anyway. I should quit while I'm ahead. Or rather, I should quit before this is 10 pages long.
[boom].