I love that I can watch youtube on my TV. Like, really. There's an hour long Halloween special with Tyler Oakley and Hannah Hart. And some other people. Daily Grace is dressed up by Not Impressed Makayla Maroney. It's great. This is pretty hilarious.
Anyway. I've done some serious thinking lately. I've talked about it tons of times, but now I'm actually taking steps to do it.
I hate my job. We all know that. Everyone knows that. The entire, ENTIRE reason I want to move to Sun Prairie is so I can transfer stores and keep my job and my profit sharing but get rid of my boss and assistant store leader. It's really sad that the only things I can talk to him about are football, wrestling, and video games. That's it. That's really pathetic. Anything else and I want to punch him in the face.
I'm not sure if or when I want to move. I do want to move because I'd be nice to get out of Point and do something new. It'd be nice because I can change my store and keep the company that doesn't totally suck balls.
I don't want to move because I don't have any money. I just got 1300 dollars today. And it's gone because of student loans. I need to get my finances stabilized before I move anywhere.
So we're not sure what to do. It's a dilemma. There's a lot of shit going on.
But. There are two things that are giving me slivers of light. One is entirely in my control. One is not.
The one that is not is that there is a chance, a small chance, that someone might come into our store and take my position so I can shift to a regular shift leader. This is out of my control entirely. But it's a sliver at the end of tunnel.
The one that IS in my control is that I'm going to try to start writing for our favorite humor-based list-formatted website. It's something that I've been thinking about for years, and I think I've mentioned it before. I've started the process of actually doing it. Obviously, it's not going to be overnight. I've been brainstorming pitch ideas and then I'm going to hit the workshop.
My hope, my dream, is that at some point maybe I can end up working and dealing with football. Or wrestling.
It's weird, because I've never had a goal before. I've never had any direction at all. I'm going to take my Sunday football spamming on facebook and turn it into a tumblr and (yet another) twitter account. I've been reading as much as I can about both football (not that I need to jam my brain with more shit) and reading more articles on Cracked. I'm trying to prep as much as possible before I dive in. And the funny thing is that I'm actually doing it. I'm actually taking steps to do it; not just talking about it.
So that's that. And we'll see what happens. My car is all winterized and amazing. I have some awesome stuff in my house and my cats are *knock on wood* getting along. I've been drinking a tad less lately... though I've been working more and my hours at work have been the epitome of erratic. Get this. Sunday 3a-8a. Monday 830a-3p. Tuesday 4a-2p. Wed 10a-7. Yeah, shit like that. Again.
So something's gotta give. We'll see what happens. The difference is that this time I'm actually coming up with ideas. Not just thinking about it. I'm making Sammy do it with me so I'm a little less likely to give up. It's helped.
Though, I may have just abandoned XPW. Again. What? It's not like my video games are going to play themselves. And I need to seriously purge the house because it looks like fuck. With the corner now being used by Sam and her stuff, I need to actually find places for things. This is dumb.
By the way, I just now, like a week ago, figured out your "I'll have my Wednesday in a cafe" tweet. Like, really. I'm an idiot. The sad part is that I've had that album for like, how many weeks now? Pathetic.
How are you, blog? I hope you had a good Thanksgiving.
I'm gonna go keep watching two hot girls and a gay on youtube on my TV. I could play video games and try to catch up but.. whatevs.
Heh, just wait until I set up my surround sound.
[boom]
Friday, November 30, 2012
Wednesday, November 21, 2012
An early post
Because something is bothering me.
It took a few days for it to sink in. I gotta admit, I'm a little slow sometimes.
I was more or less prepared for this. I figured that when his scheduled changed around that you would have little to no time for talking to me. I came to terms with that. I didn't like it, but I expected it, especially after the blow up we had last month. I understand the idea of getting completely wrapped up in whoever you're with because I do the same thing. I'd be a damn liar if I said that I didn't abandon other things in my life when I had a significant other I actually cared about.
I'd also be a damn liar if I said that I would not talk to any of my exes if the person I was with asked. I can't say with certainty either way to be honest. I've thought long and hard about it. If you had asked me to stop talking to Rora, I likely would have. Is that because of where Rora and I were in our friendship or because of the hold you had over me? I'm not sure. If someone asked me to stop talking to you because they didn't like it, can I say with any degree of accuracy that I would? No. One way or another, I can't answer that question because I'm not in that situation.
So, in that sense, I can't be angry about it. And I'm not. I'm not angry. I haven't, nor will I, cry. But I would be a damn liar if I said that this doesn't upset me to some degree. Here's why.
I feel like, and I've said this before, our friendship is stronger than it ever has been. Who knows why. But I've worked my ass off to stay somewhat mentally stable enough to continue being friends with you, and I think it's bullshit that just because someone says so, it has to all end randomly. I know what I say doesn't make a difference, and that's fine, but I have to get this off my chest before it really starts to get to me.
Perhaps, had I realized before now, that your call was a 'farewell', I could have figured something else out. This is Kenny all over again and that sucks for me. I understand his side, though, odd as that may seem. I was never crazy about you talking to any of your exes when we were together either. So, from his point of view, I get it. Though, this sounds like a guy who would get jealous of a blade of grass for caressing you too gently. But I still don't think it's fair. Of course I don't. Because I'm the one getting screwed out of something I worked so hard to maintain.
I know, and I'd come to terms a long time ago, that we're not going to be talking on the phone 3-4 times a week anymore. That's fine. No problem. I understand, or at least understood, that calls would be rare and texts would be maybe once a week. But I can't handle a full radio silence. I know that's what was asked of you and I know you'll oblige because you're you. I'd expect nothing less.
But... but maybe when you're driving to your sister's and you want to have a chat on the way down or back,
Or maybe when the boy is off fixing his car with a friend,
Or maybe when you're in a different country and feel like having a chat for awhile (after talking with your boyfriend, of course),
Or maybe even when you're poopin' and want someone to text...
Maybe you'll think of me?
Like I said, I'm not going to cry about it or anything because I expected it and I've been here before. It'd just be nice to get a word in edgewise if you ever find yourself with the time. I would appreciate it.
It took a few days for it to sink in. I gotta admit, I'm a little slow sometimes.
I was more or less prepared for this. I figured that when his scheduled changed around that you would have little to no time for talking to me. I came to terms with that. I didn't like it, but I expected it, especially after the blow up we had last month. I understand the idea of getting completely wrapped up in whoever you're with because I do the same thing. I'd be a damn liar if I said that I didn't abandon other things in my life when I had a significant other I actually cared about.
I'd also be a damn liar if I said that I would not talk to any of my exes if the person I was with asked. I can't say with certainty either way to be honest. I've thought long and hard about it. If you had asked me to stop talking to Rora, I likely would have. Is that because of where Rora and I were in our friendship or because of the hold you had over me? I'm not sure. If someone asked me to stop talking to you because they didn't like it, can I say with any degree of accuracy that I would? No. One way or another, I can't answer that question because I'm not in that situation.
So, in that sense, I can't be angry about it. And I'm not. I'm not angry. I haven't, nor will I, cry. But I would be a damn liar if I said that this doesn't upset me to some degree. Here's why.
I feel like, and I've said this before, our friendship is stronger than it ever has been. Who knows why. But I've worked my ass off to stay somewhat mentally stable enough to continue being friends with you, and I think it's bullshit that just because someone says so, it has to all end randomly. I know what I say doesn't make a difference, and that's fine, but I have to get this off my chest before it really starts to get to me.
Perhaps, had I realized before now, that your call was a 'farewell', I could have figured something else out. This is Kenny all over again and that sucks for me. I understand his side, though, odd as that may seem. I was never crazy about you talking to any of your exes when we were together either. So, from his point of view, I get it. Though, this sounds like a guy who would get jealous of a blade of grass for caressing you too gently. But I still don't think it's fair. Of course I don't. Because I'm the one getting screwed out of something I worked so hard to maintain.
I know, and I'd come to terms a long time ago, that we're not going to be talking on the phone 3-4 times a week anymore. That's fine. No problem. I understand, or at least understood, that calls would be rare and texts would be maybe once a week. But I can't handle a full radio silence. I know that's what was asked of you and I know you'll oblige because you're you. I'd expect nothing less.
But... but maybe when you're driving to your sister's and you want to have a chat on the way down or back,
Or maybe when the boy is off fixing his car with a friend,
Or maybe when you're in a different country and feel like having a chat for awhile (after talking with your boyfriend, of course),
Or maybe even when you're poopin' and want someone to text...
Maybe you'll think of me?
Like I said, I'm not going to cry about it or anything because I expected it and I've been here before. It'd just be nice to get a word in edgewise if you ever find yourself with the time. I would appreciate it.
Sunday, November 18, 2012
You're my Achilles heel
Welp, you know why I'm making this.
That's right. I haven't blogged in forever, it's 4am, and I'm fucking hammered.
Oh, and you're not answering my texts.
It's okay though. I know why. I'm not offended.
BUT I AM DRUNK WOO.
Remember how last year I made 40 blogs? This year I'll be lucky if I make 30.
I stopped blogging so much, though, because of the idea that I was on the phone talking to the only reason I updated this blog. Like, seriously. I update it because... well, because I can and god knows I have a lot to say. BUT WE'RE FRIENDS BLOG.
Apparently, I'm gonna type in caps.
WOO WOO WOO.
So, I'm beginning to have seconds thoughts about this living arrangement. It's not that I don't like Sam. It's just that I feel like she might be one of those people that I just can't live with. We're not compatible as roommates. I guess we'll see, though.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to play video games where timing is key when you're drunk? It's hard, man. Very hard.
How are you, blog. It's been awhile. Please, explain your texts. No, really. I'm curious. I want to laugh at you. =).
Oh, and I've been trying to work on Truth a little bit lately. I've been promoted to being in charge of XPW, but I'm going to try to take one of the next weeks off (and not play video games the whole time) and finish it. I know I've said that a lot. But with the new season, both myself and a special friend of mine are feeling pony-rejuvenated. I'll let you know when it's up because, let's be honest, it likely won't be til next year.
By the way, the passive-aggressive texts? Not for you, blog. For a stupid person who I'm not supposed to give a fuck about because she kind of sucks are being friends. What can I say? I can't give up on people. Not even the shitty ones, sometimes. But we've all seen that. Thank god for not-shitty-somewhat-mildly-awesome friends.
Yeah, I found out that Janice is super jealous all the time of her recluse-like girlfriend. This means that it makes sense that Sammy deletes her tweets. Also means I'm still fucking terrified of Janice. God help me if I ever find myself in Saint Cloud. (Though, I'd like to find myself there. It'd be fun! But... I'm not going alone. Please don't make me go alone.)
And, by the way, blog, you won by default. Zoe it is.
Oh, and, happy 100th post to me!
[boom]
That's right. I haven't blogged in forever, it's 4am, and I'm fucking hammered.
Oh, and you're not answering my texts.
It's okay though. I know why. I'm not offended.
BUT I AM DRUNK WOO.
Remember how last year I made 40 blogs? This year I'll be lucky if I make 30.
I stopped blogging so much, though, because of the idea that I was on the phone talking to the only reason I updated this blog. Like, seriously. I update it because... well, because I can and god knows I have a lot to say. BUT WE'RE FRIENDS BLOG.
Apparently, I'm gonna type in caps.
WOO WOO WOO.
So, I'm beginning to have seconds thoughts about this living arrangement. It's not that I don't like Sam. It's just that I feel like she might be one of those people that I just can't live with. We're not compatible as roommates. I guess we'll see, though.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to play video games where timing is key when you're drunk? It's hard, man. Very hard.
How are you, blog. It's been awhile. Please, explain your texts. No, really. I'm curious. I want to laugh at you. =).
Oh, and I've been trying to work on Truth a little bit lately. I've been promoted to being in charge of XPW, but I'm going to try to take one of the next weeks off (and not play video games the whole time) and finish it. I know I've said that a lot. But with the new season, both myself and a special friend of mine are feeling pony-rejuvenated. I'll let you know when it's up because, let's be honest, it likely won't be til next year.
By the way, the passive-aggressive texts? Not for you, blog. For a stupid person who I'm not supposed to give a fuck about because she kind of sucks are being friends. What can I say? I can't give up on people. Not even the shitty ones, sometimes. But we've all seen that. Thank god for not-shitty-somewhat-mildly-awesome friends.
Yeah, I found out that Janice is super jealous all the time of her recluse-like girlfriend. This means that it makes sense that Sammy deletes her tweets. Also means I'm still fucking terrified of Janice. God help me if I ever find myself in Saint Cloud. (Though, I'd like to find myself there. It'd be fun! But... I'm not going alone. Please don't make me go alone.)
And, by the way, blog, you won by default. Zoe it is.
Oh, and, happy 100th post to me!
[boom]
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