Hey Soul Sister - Train

I can't get this fucking song out of my head and it's starting to piss me off. I mean, for fuck's sake.

So, this last week sucks. And it hurts more than anything else I've ever been through. Whatareyougonnado though? Nothing. Just work through it.

You know what? It's not even worth it to talk about. I am sorry Internet.

Sometimes - Skillet

...And now, not only do I not feel well in a few different ways, IE is being suck a raging cockhead that my entire post that I had written is gone.

I'm done.

The way you move ain't fair, you know

I decided tonight that I want a webcam. I'm not sure why. I have no way of justifying it. I just want one. There's one for 30 bucks at best buy.

No, I didn't buy it. Yet.

I've been on and off working on studying for a big ole Philosophy test that's tomorrow. I legit spent at least an hour and a half creepin' my girlfriend's old pictures. I'm trying to decide if I think she's hotter with long brown hair or short black hair. I still don't know. I guess that means that I don't care much cos I think they both look good.

Ohmygod I am going to fail this test so hard. Arg. I hate tests so much. I don't prep well for them. And that's not because I'm too ADD to do so (well, partially.) They're kind of subjective though, you know? Maybe I think something else is important to know, but that's not what my prof thinks. I would rather write a paper on something. That...okay, so that might have to do with the Ease of Bullshit factor. It's about six million times easier to bullshit a paper. Maybe though, just maybe that's because I'm a Philosophy major.

I will not make an entire post about my girlfriend agin.
Funny how she's really the only thing I have to talk about.

Oh, here's an interesting note, um...Jimmy Eat World is goddamn amazing in concert. Future self, make sure you see them again if you get the chance. Jizz worthy at worst. Dizzy? For Me This is Heavan? 23? How do you top a setlist with those songs? Not even Param-...Nevermind. Okay, one band can top it but still. Man.

Ohhh I just downloaded some editing software. yay being a nerd!

You know, I'm such a nerd, but yet I'm not nerdy enough for a job at a game store? The hell man, the hell.

I need a new jooooobbbbbbbbbb. Fuuuuuccckkk.
Dear boss, if you are reading this, and if you find out which of your employees this is...FIRE ME. I hate you and you are a dirty, rotten, smelly cunt that can do the job quality of an autistic 3 year old. Wait, no, he could do it better. I guess what I am saying is that I don't much care for you.

My legs are all sore and achy from sitting for so long. But I have M&Ms so that makes it better. #waitwut #goddamnitthisisnttwitter

Well then. I think I have blagged hard enough. I'm sure I have more to say, but, again, I'm too ADD to do anything. I even brough up the Social Interview feature on facebook. Man, that shit is OLD.

Happy Emily?

My Best Theory

For the last 10 and a half months, I've been the luckiest person on the planet. It sucks being away from the person I love the most, even for a short period of time. (Though, I'm doing a lot better in handling it.)

Sometimes, It's hard to believe that my life is so put togehter, even when it feels like it's falling apart. Which, actually, isn't super often nowadays. It's weird when I have these "When I have kids I can do this" thoughts. I had trained myself to hate kids, to never want them, because I never thought I'd get the chance to have them. It was a defense mechanism. Oh, no one wants to be with me for a long time? Well fine, I don't want to build a life with anyone. We can rent apartments and shit. So that way, when I get let down about the relationship, I don't actually lose anything.

It's just funny how things change based only on this gut feeling. Maybe I don't not want kids. I want to own our own house with a full basement and plenty of land to run around on. I want to settle down and get married...maybe.

I want to be lucky for the rest of my life.