People throw rocks at things that shine

Didn't think I'd make it, didja?

Six posts in one month, and subsequently, the last one of 2011.

I almost wrote 2001. That's silly.

Well, let me reflect on 2011. It was up, it was down. I was broken, I was strong. I cried, I laughed. I played games, I got back into writing. I worked my ass off and got a promotion. I got new friends and realized my old ones aren't going any-dang-where.

I really don't have a whole lot to say about it. It was a shitty year with some bright spots. I learned some stuff about myself, which is always a good thing when you're as batshit crazy as I am. I know what kind of people I want in my life, and I think, for once, the people I text and talk to daily are with my time. It's kind of nice to have friends who are human beings and not pieces of shit. Not that that's been a HUGE problem for awhile. It's just nice. I know who's there for me when I need them, and without them, I don't know what I'd do. So here's to you, Blog, for being one of those friends that's always there whether for a late night, emo-porch time session or a good old fashioned drinking night. Cheers to us. Cheers to my other friends that follow in your footsteps and continue to be great people and friends.

I hope that 2012 will be a bit better. I hope, for you too Blog, 2012 is fantastic. I don't really do resolutions, but if I did, it'd be to be great. I know it's lame but it's true. I want to have a good year, which I think means to keep doing what I've been doing for the last month or so. It's been alright I think.

Have a safe night, blog. Have a good night. Have a new years not in Mexico, which is kind of weird and something I just realized. Huh.

Anyway. I'm sure we'll be in touch sooner rather than later. Right now, I have to finish getting ready to celebrate someone's birthday.
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Five time, five time, five time, five time, five time

Alright. Tied the record with five. Can we make it six blags in a month? Time is wearing thin. The pressure is on!

There's just too much pressure. I'm nervous.

That's the second time I've used that lyric in the last two days. I really need to knock that shit off.

Anyway.

I learned something this weekend. Well, wait. Okay. I RElearned something and it isn't the weekend. I guess I just assume that when I get to leave down and see my best friend and some other cool people that it's the weekend. I think it's illegal to enjoy myself that much during the week. I think that's why I have a hard time realizing tomorrow is Christmas Eve. You know, SATURDAY the 24th. I keep thinking it's like, Monday tomorrow. I almost forgot I work.

Anyway. I should explain. Because I didn't last night. After leaving Josh and Kristin's, my stomach was in my throat. Like, I seriously felt like puking. Was it the food? No. No it wasn't. But Alyssa called me and I told her I was nervous (hence the terrible song lyrics). Why? Because I am ALWAYS nervous in that particular situation.

Why? Why in God's name am I nervous when I'm going to see someone I should have zero nerves about? The ONE person in the entire fucking world that can see through ALL of my bullshit. The one person that I've never hidden anything from. Ever. (Except that hooker in the trunk.)

Why? It doesn't make sense. And then it did. Again. Probably. I'm sure I've learned this before.

I think I get scared that like, things will be different. Like, what if I get there/she gets here and she's like "meh, hey. Whatever. Go die."

I would be sad. Like... more sad than I've ever been. But like, that's not the case. That's never been the case. Ever. Like, jesus. How blind can I be? Each and every time I'm nervous and each and every time those nerves melt away before greetings are even uttered. I think it's just the anticipation. And then... well, as Vinyl would probably say, she saw her favorite lavender eyes.

Though, I think if I saw someone with lavender eyes, I would call bullshit. Or meth. Either is plausible. But I think, either way, it's a viable comparison.

That Vinyl Scratch. She's so fucking cool. I guess Octavia is alright too.

Anyway. I got side tracked with ponies. Go figure.

Long story short, I have tried to distract myself when going on such journeys to the land of the southern Wisconsin. It's a lot worse when I'm going down there. At least when it's reversed it's like "OH GOD A CAR DOOR SHE'S HERE OH GOD OH GOD Oh- Hey, what's up?". When I go down there (giggity. Sorry, had to be done) I get off the interstate and start fucking hyperventilating.

I think that I might FINALLY be able to get over that. Everything is always the same. I mean, it's been since... August? And nothing has changed. We haven't missed a beat. From the serious talks to the fist fights and wrestling matches, it's all the same. It's nice. It's awesome. It's all I can ask for, really. Well, aside from asking someone to shorten the distance between Darien and Stevens Point. I think I should just buy a huge fucking house and make all of my favorite people live in it. It would be... interesting. And full of booze. And bruises. (Because my shoulder STILL hurts. There's going to be payback for this, and you can run and tell THAT. Homeboy.)

Also, I wish I had time to make a better video than I did. Next time gadget, next time.

Or now? The world will never know. I wonder, though, if there's anything that I could do that would please you, Blog. Like... are you indifferent (you are) or is there something that you would like to see? Like, a live reading or... watching the creative process, or a movie of... dogs. Or like, do a question and answer? With.. myself? I don't bloody know. I'll think about it.

Anyway. I'm going to TRY to go to bed as I work early tomorrow.
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It's not Christmas til it snows.

My record is five blags in a month. Think I can beat that?

Yeah, me either.

But BLAM. Here's another.

My feet are bloody cold. I will not concede that it's December. It's 40 and there is no snow. I call shenanigans. Why does Arizona get it? Fucking, desert is getting snow. Not New York. Not Illinois. Not Minnesota. Not Michigan. Not fucking Wisconsin. This is bullshit.

I need to finish someone's christmas present. And then I need to see if I can get to the southern half of the state to see some cool homies this week. (AKA Thursday night/Friday)

You see, Blog, when lots of my friends (see also: three) live in far, far away land, I have to make time and make schedules work and it's not always easy when all I want is my friggen prime rib from outback but SOMEONE has to have a really bloody difficult work schedule. #firstworldproblems

Seriously though. This is some bullshit. Again.

I'll figure it out. Just gotta do some foot work... er, text work, tomorrow. If only I didn't work.

I hate my job.

I think I've decided I don't want to be in charge of the kitchen. If it's taken me this long to decide, if I'm flip flopping back and fourth every day as to whether or not I even want to KEEP the job... maybe I should just stay where I'm at and wait. Sure, I could do a good job, but ultimately, it's not worth my sanity and stress levels. Also, my liver. My job makes me drink.

Why in the name of fuck am I looking at houses to buy? Am I really that masochistic, or do I want to live a dream?

(edit: and I fucking found this. I want it. Oh god why do I want it? Don't worry, I don't think I'll actually buy it. I just... I don't know what my issue is right now.)

Anyway. Yeah. That's all I've got. At least, that's all I think I've got.

I'm only updating because I care about you, Blog. And because you're being so kind with your feedback.

bbl. Gonna go write some shit.

[boom]

And after alllll, you're my wonderwaaaaallll

*grumbling* Don't tell me that I never update. Rackum frackum.

Anyway. Hey bloggity blog. How's tricks?

Alright, I promised I'd tell you why in the fuckshit I am writing this story, so here goes.

Once upon a time, I was a sad panda. I used multiple things to distract me from this sadness, rather than face it. I have mentioned this before. I went through my Madden phase and found myself looking for... SOMETHING. I was finding it hard to sleep at night again. And the football games took so long to play, I'd be up until 6am trying to finish. So I went back to some pony forums (shut up. Just... just shut up) to look at adorable pictures of little cartoon ponies. Ponies that I would have NEVER paid attention to when I was little. EVER. And now I'm goddamn 23 and watching My Little Pony every week. The fuck?

Anyway. This summer, I distracted myself by writing a story. I needed to write it. People loved it apparently, too. Being a writer at heart, I couldn't totally let down this small audience that I had gathered. I needed a new distraction... but what? I wasn't being fucked around by some crazy woman for once in my life. I was just... sad. Just sad all the time. Okay, that's overly dramatic. But I was sad nonetheless.

So I thought about it. What's something I can write about that I know? If I write something that I know, then I can be sure to not quit on it. Maybe people will like it because they will see the passion in it.

I spent my time reading some new fanfics from other people. Somehow I stumbled across a fic called "The Vinyl Scratch Tapes". I was in stitches. This guy was HILARIOUS. And he used two ponies that I was familiar with but weren't part of the Mane 6, as they are called. I loved the pairing of Octavia and Vinyl Scratch. They were so... different. They worked. So I found more fics of VinylTavia. I loved each and every one of them.

Now, I am not usually picky about my "ships" (that is, when fans take two characters and put them into a relationship, despite that not being the real case). I've seen hundreds of different ships for tons of ponies and if they are done right and in an adorable and not porn way, I will usually enjoy them. Some I have liked more than others. But Octavia and Vinyl Scratch is by far and large my favorite. So much so that I will not read or look at anything that has either of them shipped with someone else. Yeah, I'm THAT fucking weird.

So I thought, you know, I am a lot like Rainbow Dash. Who, in turn, is kind of like Vinyl Scratch. Since Vinyl is currently my favorite character, I'd like to write a story about her. So I figured out the who and the why but I didn't know WHAT. What could I use to ship these two together?

Then it hit me like a fucking baseball.

I don't know a lot of people's genesis stories as pertaining to their relationships. Some of them are cute and adorable, some of them are predictable. I saw something in mine though. I knew that I could recount my feelings accurately and considering the amount of times we had talked about it, I knew I could recount a little bit of both sides.

The shitty part is that the place in which the story takes place, doesn't really have a lot of technology. Which sucks because a lot of the relationship happened through texts and Facebook/Twitter. Mostly texts and Facebook though. (That is, if that movie I made awhile ago is to be believed.)

So it's not perfect. I have to adlib some things and I have to take into account the personalities of these ponies. If I would have thought about it, I would have made a better Octavia than Vinyl Scratch but I'm making due. And people are loving it, apparently. It is simultaneously weird and flattering. Flattering because any author or artist ever will tell you how awesome it would be for their work to touch someone, anyone, on a personal level. It's weird because... it's a true story. About me. So... yeah.

And that's the way over drawn explanation. I needed a distraction and my muse was itching to write. Originally, the project was going to be 15 segments long. But there's no way that is going to happen. I'm on 10 and not even sure how many more random things I'll remember to add. (Don't be afraid to mention something, if you think I've forgotten it, Blog.)

The good news is, someone DID find those links I dropped and returned them. Glad they're not lost forever.

I do have another project. Well, it's nothing I've started. But when I finish Truth, I'm going to write a sequel to Happiness Unraveled, which is the first fanfic I wrote. When I was about to finish it, I had multiple endings in mind. I HATE the one I chose. I chose it for the audience, not for me. So I feel that it would only be right to write a sequel. Maybe get Vinyl or Octy involved. But who knows. Well, I do. So... nah.

Anyway, while I was searching for the song of the chapter for chapter ten of Truth, I somehow stumbled across this and damn near pissed myself. Here is the original, in case you care.

Anyway, I am tired and my hand kind of hurts from all the typing. Plus, I can't seem to pry myself out of bed in the morning. Let's see what kind of weird dreams I have tonight!

Also... don't... don't make fun of me too hard for all this crap. No one else really gets to know.

I didn't say you COULDN'T. Cos I know you will. Just be gentle. (giggity)

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Let the Butterflies fly away

No.

No. No. No. No. No.

First of all, blog, you will NOT use that title for this post. Fuck that. No. No. No. Absolutely not. I don't care how relevant it may or may not be to what I am going to post about. Take it down.

Dickbag. Whatever.

Anyway. Something bad happened today, besides you sabotaging me with that fucking title, blog.

I dropped the link for the first part of my project. You have no idea how bad this is, blog. Like, this is really fucking bad. It's not even done yet! I mean, sure, I was going to show it off and let you see it before it was done because I have no idea when it's going to BE done, but STILL. It's not that it's UNdone. The first nine parts are very much so done. But the thing in and of itself isn't done. It's like watching an episode of, letsjustpickatotallyrandomshow, Scrubs. Sure. You're watching an episode with a plot. That episode is done and in the books. But the SERIES isn't over. Not yet anyway. Well, okay, yes, Scrubs is done. But you get what I mean. Don't give me that look, blog. I will fuck your shit all up.

Anyway, the worst part is that I dropped all nine links.

Not just the first and second. But the third, the fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh, eighth, and ninth!

Not that I'd need to drop all the links and waste the coding and time. I mean, if I were unveiling the whole thing I'd be all "here's the link to the first one and the rest follow if you use the left arrow key." But only a douchecanoe would drop all nine links. A true paranoid, nervous, over zealous fuckwad indeed.

What if someone, like you, finds the links and sees the project and clicks on the hidden project songs?! Then what?! WHAT WOULD I DO.

*sigh* I guess I just don't know. I hope, at least, that if someone were to find the links I accidentally dropped, they would let me know that they did so. Maybe even give me some feedback. (Which hopefully would be anything other than "this is stupid why in the shitfuck are you doing this? Which, coincidentally, is something I will be answering in my next post... at least when I find the dropped links.)

Oh blog, what will I do?

Truly, December 7th is a day that will live in infamy. /obligatory nerd Pearl Harbor joke

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p.s. seriously fuck you and your title, blog.

Hi, my name is...

Soon.

Very soon.

It won't be as done as soon I want it to be. But I can't keep sitting on it without showing it. I guess... I guess the more time I have, the better it gets. It is coming along nicely. I'm pretty pleased thus far. Hopefully you will be pleased too, blog. I realize that it probably isn't as cool or awesome as you probably are hoping for, and I'm sure it might even be something you see and go ".... really? THIS is the big surprise? This is... pathetic" but... I'm hoping that is just me being a douche and expecting you to hate me for it. It's mostly a gift for you, you know. Though, i'd be a fucking liar if I said it wasn't for me too. Plus it's doing wonders for my internet fame. Bet you're pretty curious now, huh? No? Really? Okay. Fine. Be that way. Jerk.

Though it would still be nice to know what that phrase (the longer time = better it gets) is all about <________<. WHEN WILL I KNOW. There are other things I am still curious about. Such as one time when a certain person was all "i'm trying to act cool while being super nervous cos I don't know how these things work." I am still confused. I think there was a meth deal or something. I GUESS I'LL NEVER KNOW. <______<.

Confound these ponies, they drive me to drink. Wait... what?

I promise, blog, soon. I just need a little more time. Work is trying to kill me by switching my starting time by no less than twelve hours within four days. (Thursday start= 330p. Friday start=730a. Saturday start=2a. Sunday start= 8a.) Is shitty. Second shift, first shift, third shift, first shift. Cunt. /endrant

*works feverishly and passes out*

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