Don't make me spend another lonely night

Lyrics from Prayin' for Daylight by Rascal Flatts.


It's funny how these posts work out. Literally one day after I posted that whole "people who judge me for my music aren't worth it" rant, I hung out with one of the most judgmental people I know. It's funny in an ironic sort of way. That's okay though. Without her and her mind games, I don't think I would have had the nerve to talk to this strange girl in my philosophy classes. I needed an outlet from her, and I found the best possible one. Everything happens for a reason, after all.

I think I'm distraction-ing on another one of my coworkers. I did it this last winter and I'm doing it again. This time, though, I at least know that I don't actually have a crush on her (I really hate that term. It makes me feel like I'm in 4th grade.) but rather I am displacing my confused emotions onto her. See, when I get attention from a pretty lady, I eat it up. And I hate that about myself. But considering the rather large void in my life right now and my constant state of boredom...well, she serves as a release. She doesn't pseudo-flirt with me as well as the other one did, but that's probably a good thing. Okay, so I call it distrationing, you call it rebounding. It's the same thing. Almost. The difference is in a rebound one, if not both parties, are going to end up hurt. In this case, I know she is with her boyfriend of three years. I know that we are just friends. And most importantly I know that I don't really want her. I feel like even IF anything ever happened, I wouldn't really be into it anyway. Like, I would but my heart wouldn't be in it. I'd be like "meh, I'm makin' out with a cute chick." And that's not cool. Or maybe it is. Hmmm.

So, I've got this buddy. What? That's it. Over the last month or so, I've grown really close with one of my buddy's from work. He is pretty awesome. I don't know what I would have done without him these last few weeks. They've been rough, but he's been there. I am so incredibly thankful to the powers-that-be for making him stick around at work and not getting a different, more better job. More...more better. #strongbad

I find it funny that in the 45 minutes it took me to cut the grass today, half of it was listening to country, and the other half was hard rock and rap. I mean, it just amuses me to go from "I see a dust trail followin' an old red Nova, baby blue eyes your head on my shoulderrrrrrr" to "That's what you get when you let your heart win, wwwooooooaaaahhhh" to "Throw dirt on me, grown a wild flower. It's fuck the world, get a child out her."

Not that no one else listens to multiple genres of music. It just always amazes me that so many different kinds of music can reach the same person in so many different ways. Music is so powerful it's ridiculous. I could never listen to JUST ONE genre of music, or worse yet, dislike music as a whole. Yes, I've met people that don't like music. I guess that's okay. I just don't get it. I'm sure there are things that I do that people don't get. Which is fine. But holy shit at least let me put a helmet on so there's no mess before you BLOW MY MIND.

Anyway. Speaking of music. I think it's time to go through my Zune player and mess around with what I do and do not have on there. Or maybe it's time to go practice some more. (I'm actually getting fluent in guitar! I can almost play a whole song without fucking up! It's the little things.) Ooooor I could play some video games because I haven't played ONE in the time I've had off of work in the last month. It's...kind of scary. I've been too lazy to play video games. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME. I think that means it's time for more =).

Boom.