Tired

I'm tired of going to bed upset.

I'm tired of waking up after having yet another shitty dream and being upset.

I'm tired of feeling worthess and unnecessary.

I'm tired of feeling like no one wants me around. Or wants to be around me.

I'm tired of hating myself for feeling worthless when I know people like having me around.

I'm tired of trying to convince myself of that. Even if I know it's true.

I'm tired of being paranoid.

I'm tired of not doing anything about it.

I'm tired of trying my hardest to remind myself of the positive, only for one single negitive thought to dive into my head and make me feel like shit again.

I'm tired of feeling like picking up and leaving without a word would better everyone's lives.

I'm so tired of being sick and tired of being sad. I just want to smile again. Smile for you. Smile for me. Smile without being fake. Smile genuinely.

I'm tired of saying I'm sorry. But I am. I'm so sorry for what I am. I want so badly to change. For everyone. For me.

I'm exhausted.