I hope you die, I hope we both die.

I was having a decent night, blog. And then I got cranky. I know, I know, hold your surprise in, please.

Actually, I had to laugh because goddamned seriously? Sometimes, you just have to laugh at life. It really is hilarious.

First thing's first. I'm going to be in school until I can ace four different Philosophy classes. That's right. I've fucked myself SO HARD that my GPA isn't even above a 2.5 so I can graduate. Fucking awesome. At this point, I'm so irritated with it that I just want to give up. Throw in the towel. No being great. No boots to asses. Just fucking up. Again.

I know, I know. "Don't be a Dante." But it's really frustrating. Like, a lot. I wish I could kick past me in the ass and tell me to go to class and stop being a fuck. All I can do now is try to fix it. And try to care.

But here's some shit that just... fucking made me laugh. So, I kind of have this following on DeviantArt, for reasons I will never ever understand. So I've made some acquaintances here and there. There's one girl I've been talking to a lot. We've been messaging each other back and fourth for a few weeks now. I won't lie, her profile implied that she was a lesbian and I was curious. Not because I wanted to get into a weird online dating thing, but because I wanted more sane lesbian friends. Okay, -A- sane lesbian friend.

So we're talking. She's cool. Lots of similar interests. She's from Florida. Rock on, that's cool. Trading stories about life and beliefs and just generally havin' a good time. She's pretty cool, I think to myself. Find out she's got a lady in her life. Alright, rock on. Not like I was going anywhere with it. Just kind of whatever, you know?

But then she follows me on Twitter (cos I mentioned it at some point). And then I look at her avatar. And then I can deny no longer that I am totally smitten with this chick. Seriously, she's pretty goddamned hot.

It's funny because... really? Seriously?

Life is funny. It mostly humors me. It irritates me in that I shouldn't be attracted to her at all. I mean, she's only 19. But that's my own irritation. Ah well. At least I have a friend, out of it. And, like I said, online dating is weird. I mean, I've DONE it before but it doesn't quite seem to work out. And Florida is kind of far away. So it's all good, right?

Right.

Fun fact: Sometimes, I drink vodka and I get disappointed. Not because it tastes bad. Nay nay. Vodka is fucking delicious. But the problem is that it's not strong enough. I have to have at least a glass halfway full of the stuff if I want a buzz by the third glass. I guess that drinking hundred proof rum all the time will do that.

I guess what I'm trying to say is you're going down.
"I'm going to drink you so far under the table that you will come out at an AA meeting in China." - Faye Whitaker.

I'm going to bed. I'm not tired but sad and I don't want to be alone and I don't know why. It's irritating. And sad. I've no one to talk to. #firstworldproblems #whiny

P.S. Is the Chorus to No Children by The Mountain Goats too mean of a song to set as Rora's ringtone? Hmm. I mean, it's not TRUE. At least, not literally. But I think it's funny. (To answer any questions, the lyrics in question are the title. Google it, I'm not making it up.)

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