I guess that makes me a jerk with a heartache

[Lyrics by Ani DiFranco]

I don't have a real blog post, really. I just wanted to use that line. Though I did want to note that...

that i'm tired and going to sleep. I could actually blog about things and say the things that are on my mind but...eh, who really cares? I don't even care anymore. It's the same thing over and over again. "Hey, remember that time this happened?" "Remember when we used to do these things?" "Do you miss me/this/that/whatever?"

Yes, it was fun, no.

My biggest fear is that someday I'm going to be living out of my car because I'll have convinced myself that everyone is truly better with me gone. The worst part is that I'm afraid that I'll be proven right. No one will care.

Part of me thinks I'm being disagreeable. Part of me thinks I'm being reasonable.

Most of me is just tired.
Tired of this game.
Tired of making myself feel like shit.
Tired of making the most important person in my life feel helpless to help and frustrated and annoyed.

Just tired.